Circular No 666

Newsletter for alumni of The Abbey School, Mt. St. Benedict, Trinidad and Tobago, W.I.

Caracas, 9 of August 2014 No. 666

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Dear Friends,

Here is the summary of the exchanges that were sent to us after Fr. Odo´s funeral.

I have waited this long as I feel that sufficient time has passed.

And that opinions from our readers on the issue need to be aired in this forum.

But again the Circular, being the only venue of information available to the Old boys, must gather the general feeling of this and other opinions and ideas being discussed.

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Jon Golding

Feb 8

Dear Joe

I’m not sure if we met when I was in TT in 2002-2009 during one of my visits to the Mount. 

You are, as I understand it, the Chairman of our registered Alumni Association.

The role of a Chairman is one of good corporate governance and leadership with connections and influence to maintain and sustain the growth of our association ethically and responsibly.

As such your opinions would be taken as more informed and meaningful than a casual member.

What you have written is not acceptable to the Association since it appears to be personal to you (and not of relevance to body of the Association), also apparently vindictive and spiteful.

To add insult to injury, you are expressing your childhood grief in the same email as informing us of the passing of one of our longest serving monks at the Abbey.

You seem to have some haunting memories after all these years that are so vivid you cannot contain yourself when you should be expressing sadness and thankfulness.

All of us old boys had emotional and even physical pain to bear growing up at the school.

But that was the price for maturing into characters who could not, later on, easily be taken advantage of.

It was all part of growing up and the Mount has produced some really good examples among us from those formative years.

These are the guys who have a lasting affection for the old days and the friendships we made which are still with us today and have matured with a parental acceptance of our proxy parents from the Abbey.

FYI, Alumni is not an association, it is the collective persona (made up of individual graduates) of a school, university or academic association.

So your role as Chairman is simply a secondary one of an Association you have formed to register some of the alumni as members and organise events, etc.

But the image and reputation of that non-profit entity can have serious implications on the image and reputation of the ‘real’ alumni around the world which graduates belong to, whether they like it or not, and of which most of us are proud.

We who survived the gauntlet to final exams are the alumni and not the part-timers who from what I have seen are the trouble makers and revenge seekers for the pressure they could not take when they were up the hill.

I will sympathise with you for a moment and share some of your pain but I think you need to dump those adolescent memories in the labass and move on.

And we have no control over what the Association Alumni does or does not do.

In brotherly love and caring

Jon Golding

(1955-61)

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On Thursday, February 6, 2014 7:10 PM,

Glen Mckoy <mckoy43glen@hotmail.com> wrote:

Muchas Gracias, Mi Hermano Y Mi Amigo, Sir Sarkis,  

Lest we forget, today a group of our brothers will be meeting, for a ceremony at the Abbey Church Mount Saint Benedict, to bid a last farewell to Our Teacher, Brother, Monk, Great Grand Master Knight-Father Odo.  

As we walk in Spirit with our Brothers, who are attending, Three Cheers, Forever-One, Long Live The Mount.

Yours Faithfully - Glen McKoy.

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Schaefer, Glen O CIV MSC, N131

Feb 6

Greetings,

Maybe bad timing, but the old proverb "Two wrongs don't make a right." Nuff said.

Peace, Skippy.

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From: vcl28@aol.com

Sent: Tuesday, February 4, 2014 12:51 PM

Glen,

I don't remember Fr. Odo, but I think that I understand how you feel since you have a very altruistic concept of what and who we are, and it is your right to express your expectations as to the behaviour of the Knights, I would never try to change you, you are like a ray of sunshine to this club and I for one celebrate having you with us.

However whatever the situation and as inappropriate as it may be in the circumstances, Joe has a right to his opinion as well, and even though I totally agree with you that in the present context it may be inappropriate, I do believe reading his email that he apparently feels strongly about it, and is invoking his right to freedom of speech to express those feelings and his anger.  We have to accept that Joe is free to write what he wants to write, to freely express his opinion, just as it is our right to disregard it.

The most we can do now is to express our opinion that Joe's tirade is probably inappropriate under the circumstances, and let nature take its course.

Take a deep breath, count to 1000, and send us the latest chapter of the Glen Mc Koy Saga.  How has the cold been affecting you?  

Tony Vieira

-----Original Message---------------------------------------------------------
From: Glen Mckoy mckoy43glen@hotmail.com

Sent: Tue, Feb 4, 2014 9:48 am

My dear Sirs, Laz, Don, Nigel, Jon & George,

This former fellow Abbey student currently holds an important role in our registered Alumni Association, including forwarding news and making announcements such as we just received from him.  Consider this now as he so horribly and inappropriately takes a very solemn occasion and uses it as his personal platform to broach a topic, which in its very length and acidity, speaks to the depth of his inferiority complex.  This is from the long past, from childhood, and most adults manage to rationalize, or at least 'let go' of events when it serves no purpose other than to spread negativity and unhappiness. To spew forth such poison is behind the times, but to do so in this case is beyond excusing, at a time when he is only supposed to invite brothers to the funeral.  Putting more nails in the coffin is such poor manners.

As a proud member of the club. we keep the fire burning, and all our business is within the club. However, we stand guard.

I just wanted to say something to somebody; this is a big slap to all my brothers that are in mourning. 

As I try to remain calm, cool & collective, I am glad I have older brothers that I can pass my concerns on to. I am really pissed about this.  

We have survived worse, one bad cashew nut, is all we need with the reunion coming up, we don't need these negative vibes. 

I am sorry, this club will always be invisible to him. Long live the Mount.

Yours faithfully,

glen mckoy.   

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Rudi Singh

Feb 4

My dear brother, Glen,

I feel for you and I understand your obvious disgust by those who to this day carry 'baggage' for one reason or another about their experiences on the Mount as a student.

As you know I am not one to readily comment of issues about the alumni but this one lit a fire!

While at the Abbey as a student we used to clout ‘chupidees' for babyish behaviour ........... I urge you to send a virtual clout to this chupidee and leave it there.

As men who overcame many issues in life which have moulded us to become the people we are today - some of us did exceedingly well - it is somewhat laughable to read this crap and know that some of dem fellas didn't get clout hard enough!

I want to thank you for selecting me as one of the persons you would share this email with.

Be comforted in the thought that while this person still carries a chip, Fr. Odo would not have given a damn.  There were other issues more important in life for him to deal with.

Cheers my brother and I look forward to sharing a bottle of Johnny with you when you visit us next,

Rudi

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GEORGE

Feb 4

Glen.....

We are all human. 

I also had a negative reaction to the note. 

I prayed on it and remembered that each one of us has a past that sometimes “explodes” at the wrong time and place;

I am personally guilty of doing that many times in my life. 

Suggest that we forgive our brother Joseph and remember the good things that he has done for our group...

God bless,

George.

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glen evelyn

Feb 4

Glen,

Let it ride.

Do not add coal to the fire. 

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From: mckoy43glen@hotmail.com

Date: Tue, 4 Feb 2014 12:18:48 +0000

My Dear Brother, Joe,  

Thank you for your email on the funeral arrangements.

Joe, I am really sorry to read about your personal dealings with Fr.Odo.  I am shocked to read same.  I was a distraction in all classes, and would be in trouble at all times,  ha! ha!  But I could never say I felt what you experienced. I remember Fr. Odo always in a good mood.  

I can still remember his smile.  

The part about being white or not, is a little over the top. 

My dear friend, Joe, I respect you.  We went to the Mount at the same time.  

I am not white, but Fr. Odo was always nice to me.  

So your statement is a personal one, and I don't think this is the general consensus.  

Now I hope that you have found some peace, in expressing your feelings,

However, if you want to talk about these things at another time, I would be glad to lend you my ears.   

Please give Fr. Cuthbert & Fr. Augustine, our best regards and love, from the boys who live too far away, and will not be there to part take in this ceremony. 

May God Bless Us All, Amen.

Yours Faithfully

Glen McKoy.

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Subject: Funeral of Fr. Odo van der Heijdt

From: bermentmcdowald@yahoo.com

Date: Mon, 3 Feb 2014 21:58:43 +0000

My Dear Brothers,

It is with regret that I have the duty to inform you of Fr. Odo's passing.

His funeral will be at 10:00 am on Thursday at the Abbey Church.

Fr. Odo was a frequent reproach to me, in all my failings.

The harsh scrutiny of his inspection (I would feel his eyes all over me) and his short dismissive manner never failed to make me feel inadequate and less than, like a Kaffa

He seemed to be a hard judgemental type and to have had a superior ethnocentric air, especially directed to those who he felt were unworthy.

I found it strange that he and "Khaki" became close.

That only made it worse for me because I could never escape doubts about my goodness or sincerity under his harsh acerbic, unspoken, contemptuous evaluation.

Colm Imbert and Winston Ramsahai were two boys that Fr. Odo had a soft spot for.

The fact that he liked them told me something about myself that it would take me too long to relate - - "not today, another day."

Unapproachable, unwelcoming and unforgiving:  he rebuffed some of us in our efforts to draw closer to the monks, actually slamming the door in some of our faces a few years ago. 

I gave up trying to prove anything to Odo, possibly 10 years ago and frequently imagined that his unjust, open loathing would have been an inconvenience that I would have had to bear for much longer.

I remember trying to exchange pleasantries with him about a year ago and being cut short by being told not to "waste my time pretending."

He was a divisive figure in the monastic community and had very difficult relationships with many of the local (especially non-White) monks in their youth.  I believe that many a promising vocation was lost because of him.

If any evidence of Fr. Cuthbert's saintliness is needed is that he was at least the one true friend that Fr. Odo had.  Incredible that "Cutty" could be friends with so many very different kinds of people, without offending any.

Amazing that a man who could be so critical of the faults in others would have been so addicted to tobacco, that it lead him to his death.

For me, I am not sure how to feel.

Do I blame or condemn him?  No!

I think that the journey that he is on will make all things clear. 

I am sorry that I joined with others in our youth to heckle, harangue and harass him: rather than turn the other cheek,

I let him know in no uncertain terms that the contempt was mutual.

I know that that is what he never forgave me for.  I realise that I could have been a better person today if I had the demeanour of a student rather than an equal:  there was much that I could have learnt from him, but I was afraid, and as Fr. Benedict told me in his death bed, "impulsive and strong-willed".

We are all proud and arrogant in some ways, genuinely believing ourselves superior and in the right, and I suspect that we are always wrong. 

I hope that my moment of clarity may be longer in coming and that (before then) I will become better at becoming a solace to the hearts of all;  a balm to the downtrodden, destitute, and those otherwise in need.

Sincerely,

Joe

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Photos:

09HH0001HHO, Howard Ho

14UN0002EUOLGY, Fr. Odo

14UN0003EULOGY, Fr. Odo

53HH0001HHE, Hans Hermans